What a day. It has been weary. I woke up to find out that my junior, schoolmate, student and friend, Raushan, passed away due to a heart failure. Ever since the passing of my grandfather many years ago and when I was too young and probably too distant from him to feel any mournful feelings, Raushan has been the closest person to me that has passed and for a moment I felt really weak when I read the news. I hope he will be in peace and all his loved ones will have the strength to carry on and celebrate the life of a bright boy.

How apt that after reading that news I was told my aunt is in hospital recovering from heart surgery. So, I traveled to SGH to visit her and she's doing fine by the looks of it but just dreary. After which my mom decided to go to Vivo City. How nice eh? I carried my trombone around while she shops. So after spending a few hours there and 2 servings of food (wouldn't call them meals), I finally left for philwinds rehearsal. I was really looking forward to going back after being absent for 2 weeks due to orchestra commitments and exams. There was a moment in rehearsal that really struck me and that's when someone told me to have character in my playing, not be too classical when playing solos in a pop piece (which I have to for one of the songs). It really struck me. I could interpret it in a raw sense and say he's saying that classical music has no or little character but I decided he meant something else and it's just stereotype. It made me think what I should really do as a musician. I've always loved the orchestra environment; the wide palette of colours from the wide variety of instruments, the masterpieces from the master composers, the big sense of ownership of the part and the section and orchestra sound. The orchestra really gets me going and I have been trying really hard to mould myself into being proficient in that setting. But as musicians sometimes we don't get to choose where or what we play in because in the end, we still need to make a living. Maybe I should pin up a note to myself and be really adaptable and most importantly, to find my voice in everything I play. Goodnight world

Just had a really good day today! Practice was good in the morning; good refresh of my excerpts. After that I went to MBS to catch a musical, "Jersey Boys". It's a story of the band "The Four Seasons" and it was a really entertaining and catchy musical. Really enjoyed it and my thanks to NAFA for providing complimentary tickets for the concert! After that I went to Orchid Country Club for Dunearn's 50th Anniversary dinner. It was really good catching up with former classmates, teachers and to add to that, I gained some new contacts! Was really nice to see that Dunearn has produced so many professional musicians/music teachers. Alright, more practice tomorrow and back to philwinds rehearsal! Goodnight world!

Just finished my technical exam and concerto competition heats today. Phew! 2 down and somemore to go. SSO audition next week and that for me is very crucial. I really want the job and now it's crunch time! Time to iron out the pesky articulations in Die Walküre, the seemingly impossibly long phrases in Das Rheingold and Ein Heldenleben, the demand for cleanliness in Die Schöpfung and the legato in Schumann 3.  One week to do it!

I also just came back from a very nice dinner with the NAFA trombone studio and Fredi along with some alumni. It was really good company and it was a good way to spend the last time with Fredi in Singapore. I hope to catch him in Germany when I go there. It has been a good 3 years and I've learnt so much from him. To be honest I do feel a bit insecure with him leaving but that itself has taught me to start finding my own voice. I need to start getting the hang of it and making musical decisions by myself and producing a good product. Work for me to do!

Alright, I'm quite tired. Guess I'll go sleep. Goodnight world!

It was a good day today! Practice was fulfilling, can't say it was super productive but at least I felt better on the instrument compared to the past few days. Mock exam was really fun and I'm glad people see it as useful! Shows I have stuff to catch up on!

I recently acquired a big collection of CDs from Fredi and it included a CD released by Wang Wei who  is a graduate from YST. His CD contained a solo piece with wind quintet accompaniment and that got me interested so do look out for a performance coming next year hopefully. I also plan to hold fortnightly or monthly mini recitals playing etudes, short solo pieces and perhaps chamber music. Still in the works of how can I attract people and repertoire and also who is available to play etc. but I'd like to see it happen! Opens up more opportunities for me to perform.

This past Wednesday I had my last lesson with my teacher of 3 years, Fredi. It was been a good 3 years I must say and I will really miss his playing, his teaching and the inspiration he provides me. In all honesty he is one of the best teachers I have met and I am very grateful for having the opportunity to be his student. I must say after the last lesson I did wonder how life will be from now on as a trombonist. Sure, I will have another teacher for the final semester, but I already miss Fredi's abundance of ideas, his wealth of knowledge and troubleshooting skills. It now prompts me to think whenever I study a score, how would Fredi play it? He has been a big influence on me and although I do see our differences in musical choices, most of the time we are in agreement. I hope to be able to see him again when I travel to Germany or if he happens to come back for whatever reason.

That brings me to the idea of a German tour next year provided I have the money and time to make such a trip. I really want to use this trip to take lessons, gain contacts and also attend concerts if the orchestras are still playing then. Meeting friends will be a bonus! Yup so over the holidays I will have time to think about it and perhaps do some planning should it be in the right circumstances for me to go.

Alright, that's all for now. Goodbye world!

It has been tough times. I'm just glad it is over now. What happened was unacceptable. All our identities were defaced; the school, the country and our identities as musicians. I'm glad that at the end of the day, at the very least, something was done that values our lives and work. We produced a musical product, although admittedly not very high quality given the circumstances, but we forked out extra time, energy, patience and in return, packet food, another chance to play with professional players among our ranks and that's about it. I do not think this was a fair deal in any sense of the statement. But I guess, all we can do now is move on, know what we are in for in the future and work to make sure we are treated fairly as people who need to make a living or progress towards making a living.

I can really feel the toll on my health now. Something that I so enthusiastically do day in day out is becoming draggy. Orchestra rehearsal was really a wash out. I couldn't play in time AND in tune. It was one of the most horrible rehearsals I've been through in a while. This shall be a reminder for myself that my basics are not second-nature yet. I really need to exercise my aural much more and have it at least at the back of my hand so to speak. I haven't even had much time to practise and I have my penultimate lesson with Fredi tomorrow. I really do hope I can get something back within the 2.5 hours from the time I wake up till the lesson. Well, technically I don't have time to even write this any longer if I want to get rest so I shall stop now. Goodnight world.

Been busy busy busy! Right now I'm typing out a quick post before I should head to sleep so that I can be well rested for my teaching stint at Hai Sing Catholic....which is at the other side of the country! NAFA Orchestra concert went quite well for me! The orchestra really played with good discipline in terms of pulse and rhythm and it was an enjoyable concert! Now one more project on 12 Nov with a different section altogether. Hope to make more fun! Right now I have to work on lots of stuff; exam repertoire; audition repertoire; history presentation; IVT portfolio and theory as well. Lots on my plate! But I'm enjoying it! I feel so much more enriched and I simply love what I do! Now to make myself better at what I want to become: an orchestra musician! Right, time to get some sleep. Goodnight world!