Now is a time to pour my thinkings out. I believe a line has to be drawn when socialising. I myself sometimes can't control my language all the time but conversations should be civilised anyway! It's just so hard for me to register the information when there's so much profanities in a sentence and it stresses me too! I just hope this can be resolved soon and as always, I can easily walk away. I do not find any gain from constantly hearing such language anymore. There's no more value to what I'm hearing. Ok I'm really sleepy. Goodnight world.

I'm back for Holland and woo! So busy! Every rest and enjoyment time was spent doing something else and now I'm eating into sleep time to type this out.

It was a really fantastic time in Holland. Spent the first day in Amsterdam and walked around, going to the street market with my mom and visiting the scores and CD shop Broekmans & van Poppel and caught a concert by the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra (which was really fantastic and would have been even more if I were more awake!)

A 1 hour trip to Huys te Britten in Katwijk aan Zee and I joined 50 over bass trombonists for a weekend of lectures, lessons, masterclasses and ensemble-playing! The 2nd trip I have undertaken in my music education, it was really an eye-opener to listen to fantastic players like Charlie Vernon, Mattis Cederberg and Csaba Wagner (who were on the faculty) but not forgetting the participating bass trombonists of whom some are professional and really fantastic players! It was great to make new contacts especially with the pros and I'm glad I made the trip. It was very well organised, we were well taken care of, lovely weather and great people! Photos are on Facebook!

By the way, I carried my Cronkhite case on board with no problems at all! I flew on the KLM direct flight. But having flights that depart and arrive on time would be nice.

Alright, really need sleep. Goodnight world!

I'll be leaving for Holland in a few hours time! Really excited to go to another European country, hear one the world's best orchestras, learn from top-level bass trombonists and make new connections! Should be a great 4 days! I'm all set and just need to pack up the last few items and I'll be heading to the airport later! For now, get some rest, watch some TV and also bring some movies along with me! Hahaha! Just started downloading Handbrake and should be going to choose some movies to bring along with me later! Yup, so, till I reach Holland, goodbye world!

Has been a busy week and it's coming to an end. One concert to play later in the afternoon and it'll mark the start of a one week break. As I reflect more on life recently, I see myself seeing more sense of purpose and fulfilment. I don't seek non-beneficial enjoyment as much and I really love what I do, be it playing music, academic work, listening to concerts, sometimes teaching. I no longer see myself sitting around, gaming (which I still do but very little and kinda wish I did have time to!), watching much TV, hanging around with friends pointlessly, etc. I pick up my bass trombone and I feel at home because it is where I have fun, where I create, where I spark imagination. I pick up a score or article to study, I feel connected and enriched by its content; it enhances my creativity on the instrument. I really love music. It give me the feeling of fulfilment. People ask me why do I do music. I used to not be able to answer that. But I think now I can. It fulfils my life, gives it meaning and purpose. It lets me say, yes, this is home.